Green and Bear It – Wry Meditations on Going Green

 

by Swami Beyondananda

Everyone is talking about “going green” as a way to save precious resources, not to mention creating a healthier environment and healthier economy. However, we all know that making lifestyle changes can be challenging, even when we have the best intentions. In seeking advice on this key issue, Natural Awakenings went seeking for a spiritual being whose mind is deeper than Deepak’s and whose heart is roomier than Rumi’s, a true avatar for our age.

Those are tough shoes to fill…

Fortunately, we came up with an alternative in Swami Beyondananda, the cosmic comic. In honor of the magazine’s first-ever Laugh More issue, the good Swami heartily agreed to comment on the trials and tribulations of living an increasingly greener life, so that we may all help create a greener planet.

Okay, Swami. Let’s get personal. What are you, as a cosmic role model, doing to shrink your footprint?

Well, first of all I am doing the most obvious thing. I am wearing smaller shoes. I’m also converting my magic carpet to run on natural gas. I think switching to a vegan diet will help with that.

Well then, that brings up another issue, of global warming. Apparently, the kind of natural gas you’re talking about… coming from cattle, primarily… actually has an impact on global climate change. So Swami, is there anything we can do to counterbalance global warming?

You know, nature is amazing in how She provides just the right natural balance to any situation, and global warming is no exception. True, for the past few generations the planet has become warmer. On the other hand, every generation is cooler than their parents.

But even cool people can overheat a planet if there are too many of us. Yet, once again, I see a simple solution—multiple personalities. I just read about a guy who has 10 personalities, and I said to myself, “Now, that’s efficiency! Ten personalities, all inside one body. Why, if we had more people like that, we’d need fewer people.

How about the rest of us, who are limited to just one personality per person?

The best way to combat global warming is through global heartwarming. Here’s why: Look at how much of our precious resources we spend fighting one another, all because of the mistaken belief in “survival of the fittest.” Modern science now tells us that the true law of nature is “thrival of the fittingest.” So, the most economically and ecologically efficient thing is to form “co-operations” that will make us all interdependently wealthy.

That sounds good, but how do we change from competition to cooperation?

First, we must recognize that the biggest obstacle to any healthy eco-system is an unhealthy ego-system. That requires switching our individual and collective focus from getting ahead to getting a heart. Instead of pursuing happiness, we need happier pursuits. The economic growth of the future is growing more happiness, by depending on fewer goods and creating more goodness.

What’s the best route to take with energy policy?

This is an area where we need to declare a state of emerge ‘n see. We need to emerge from being a bunch of fossilized fools fueled by fossil fuels, and see that we have a virtually infinite source of power, just as surely as the sun comes up in the morning.

During World War II, the United States mobilized the Manhattan Project to build the first weapons of mass destruction, nuclear power. Today, we need a Man-Helpin’ Project to mobilize our forces to weave a web of mass-construction of new-clear power—clean, renewable energy so abundant that we don’t need armies to defend it. Now, I know what you’re thinking, that I am proposing a sane world… I must be crazy.

But listen. Maybe it’s time we went sane and built our own sane asylum. With soul power and solar power, we pretty much have what we need.

Finally, Swami, what do you suggest for improving the overall economy?

That’s simple: overalls. The more people who are wearing overalls, the healthier our overall economy.

That’s because our most renewable abundant resource comes out of the ground every season. Hey, those pesticide-free plants are rooting for us to achieve “humanifest destiny”—where we accept and fulfill our mission to regrow the garden from the grassroots up and have a heaven of a time doing it.

Swami Beyondananda is the alter ego of writer and humorist Steve Bhaerman. Find him online at WakeUpLaughing.com, including the latest on his Swami Goes Green campaign.

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