Charlice Hurst, PhD and Mani Saint-Victor, MD, CH on How Past Wounds Shape Your Current Relationships
Feb 01, 2025 01:26PM ● By Charlice Hurst, PhD and Mani Saint-Victor, MD, CH
When we married in 2020, neither of us anticipated how deeply our past relationships and childhood wounds would influence our new beginning. Like many couples, our first year together revealed how powerfully old patterns can shape current relationships. Disagreements would trigger defensive reactions, and we often found ourselves judging each other through the lenses of past hurts rather than being present with the person before us. It wasn't until we committed to intensive healing work, individually and as a couple, that we began to untether from these old stories.
As psychologists specializing in hypnosis, archetypal narratives, and trauma, we recognized our struggles weren't unique. They reflected universal patterns that many couples face. This realization led us to develop Archetypal Memory Reconsolidation (AMR), an approach that helps people break free from unconscious relationship patterns.
Archetypes are individual and collective patterns found across time and culture. They are embedded in the stories our society tells us about all aspects of the human experience, including love, trust, and connection. Common threads are easy to see among the stories we encounter about romantic love, not just in movies and books but also among real people. There are the givers and the takers, the hopeless romantics and the cynics, the wishy-washy and the loyal to the end.
Of the range of relationship archetypes, our patterns often emerge from experiences that become embedded in emotional memory. Early experiences with primary caregivers shape our core interpersonal tendencies. We enact those tendencies in our adult relationships, end up in recurring scenarios, and spin narratives from those experiences. We may repeatedly choose unavailable partners, give more than we receive, or avoid closeness. The resulting stories can leave us feeling pessimistic about the potential for change. However, we’ve found that transformation is possible through AMR, a unique method that blends Jungian psychology with research demonstrating the effectiveness of memory reconsolidation for healing trauma.
Understanding the archetypal nature of our relationship dynamics can help us see our patterns more objectively and create new, healthier ways of connecting. AMR combines archetypal awareness with the brain's natural ability to update emotional memories. In AMR sessions, we help clients develop more adaptive emotional responses to the past. Releasing habitual distress enables the release of old stories, heightening our ability to imagine and experiment with new narratives.
Today, while we're (thankfully) not June and Walt Cleaver, we've achieved a playful and cooperative dynamic in which conflicts no longer spiral into crises. We each continue our personal healing journey with mutual acceptance, respect, and understanding. During Valentine’s season, with all the archetypal stories it evokes, you may be thinking about romance more than usual. We invite you to explore how AMR might help you transform your relationship patterns, creating space for more authentic and fulfilling connections.
Certified hypnotherapists Mani Saint Victor, M.D. and Charlice Hurst, PhD. are co-owners of Mosaeic Systems, bringing deep compassion and a trauma-informed perspective to empower clients to heal from past experiences and step fully into their power. For more information or to arrange for a free 20-minute strategy consultation, call 980-485-6988 or visit MosaeicSystems.com.

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